So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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