Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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