yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
These tits shall not be calmed
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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