I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
