is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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