I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
