New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
