There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
