is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
