You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
where am i from again
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
