I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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