ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
