just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
