pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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