Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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