O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
