we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize