and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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