We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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