8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
