i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
