I feel great
I just peed on a car
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
