Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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