More tranny stories later!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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