Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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