yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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