I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
