Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
that may or may not have been my penis.
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