I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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