just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We left an ass print on the piano.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
