So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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