Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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