Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
