Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
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Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
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REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
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