this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I am one with the molecules
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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