tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
