DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
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Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
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I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
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