A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Randomize
