dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
