with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
