return my video game
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
