U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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