worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
