She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
