Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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