I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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