I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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