I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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