Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
