and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
