sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
