I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize