So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
