I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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