I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
