so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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