At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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