You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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