You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
