There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
