sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
