Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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