laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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