my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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