yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
