at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
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We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
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I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?