Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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