Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"

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(303): View more from Colorado

he thought i was a dude.

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(409): View more from Texas

We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(661): View more from California

I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it

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(914): View more from New York

You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.

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(301): View more from Maryland

people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back

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(678): View more from Georgia

For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.

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(909): View more from California

I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.

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