please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
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I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
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Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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