I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
